What if I told you the reason your youngsters do not listen is because of the way you say ‘Do not’?
“Close your eyes and do not think about a pink elephant.”
What did you see?
Precisely. A pink elephant.
This little experiment trembled me the very first time I heard it. Our minds simply do not process the “don’t.” Instead, they fixate on the actual thing we’re attempting to stay clear of. And the extra I thought of it, the much more I realized– I was doing the exact same thing with my children.
Daily, I was stating points like:
· “Do not run.”
· “Do not hit.”
· “Do not splash.”
And presume what? They were running, striking, spilling– nearly as if my words were pressing them towards the habits rather than quiting it.
One evening, after yet one more round of “Don’t get on the sofa!” complied with instantly by a get on the couch, the Pink Elephant concept struck me like a lightning screw. Youngsters don’t listen to “Do not.” They listen to the action.
So, I tried an experiment. Instead of “Do not run,” I gently stated:
“Mosey.”